One
of my specializations is in couples therapy with a focus on intimacy
and sexuality. My approach is both supportive and challenging and is
based on neurobiological and attachments concepts that confirm that we
need the support of a partner in order to be able to work through
individual primary core issues. I am trained in the PACT Model developed
by Stan Tatkin and have had several years of extensive training with
David Schnarch.
I see impasses and breakdowns in long-term
relationships as a non-pathological and normal process. Disappointments
and disenchantments often lead to excessive arguing, hostility or
emotional distancing as well as loneliness in the relationship. Relationship impasses often result from over-accommodation to the
partner and/or avoidance of the issues.
In
my work I help partners move from blaming the partner or avoiding the
issue to facing her or his own contribution to the breakdown and
disconnect. This process enables the couple to find new ways to deal
with unavoidable differences and conflicts.
Although
it is essential to explore the individual family of origin issues,
different value systems and expectations, the focus of the work will be
on the process of the couple and the real life issues that inhibit a
fullfiling relationship. We will work on finding effective ways to
change the basic dysfunctional dynamic and transform the relationship
into one in which both partners can grow.
The
emotional gridlock that both partners experience can open the way to
the exploration of the underlying long-term individual issues as well as
to a new understanding of the unhealthy dynamic the couple has created
together. Insecure early attachments and a hostile relational system often prevent the couple from developing good regulational behavior. The injuries from deep misunderstanding and misappraisals can make it difficult for the partners to learn the skills necessary to help each other with the fundamental individual and relational issues. We will tackle these issues in the session and create a new foundation for learning and growth.
